Xanxu's credit card
by TheMcgabster
Summary: Squalo hands over Xanxus's credit card to Bel and Fran, to go get food and crown cleaner. Now Bel and Fran find themselves with a stolen baby and the police hot on their trail. Strippers, jail, grand-theft auto is just the beggining of their quest.
1. Chapter 1

**Bel and Fran have Xanxus's credit card... O.o**

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><p>"GET OVER HERE FROG!" yelled Bel jumping over the couch, and started chasing Fran who was wearing Bel's precious crown, Fran slid into the expensive china cabinet but seemed unfazed as he started running up the stairs to Lussuria's room<p>

Fran slammed through Lussuria room and locked the door behind him.

"GIVE ME THE PRINCE'S CROWN NOW!" screamed Bel throwing knived at the door

"bel-sempai?" asked Fran innocently

"WHAT!"

"FUCK YOU!" said Fran's voice inside the room, Bel trembled with anger, but it was only a matter of time till Fran came rushing out, it was Lussuria's room after all

"it seemes alittle froggy came to visit me" said a sleepy voice in the corner of the room, a hand slowly carressed Fran's back

Fran didn't waste anytime getting the hell out of there. Bel was about to kill Fran but Squalo just happened ot be walking by just as Fran ran straight into him knocking both of them over the railing and onto the glass coffee table,

"SHIT MOTHERFUCKER I STUBBED BY TOE!" wailed Squalo

"FUCKIN' FROG!" cried Squalo as Fran made a run for it as Bel jumped over the railing and grabbed his crown,

"damn frog! i'm out of crown cleaner! now I cant wipe off your disgusting germs!" yelled Bel

"bel-sempai, just go to the store and get some more" said Fran, dodging the knived that were thrown at him

"WELL'S WHO CREDIT CARD ARE WE USING THIS TIME! WE'VE USED EVERYONES!" yelled Bel

"well there is ONE person we haven't used yet" said Fran

"...fuckin' frog well who's gonna get it?" asked bel

"well it is his nap time right about now" said Fran, Bel and Fran looked upstairs and saw that Xanxus's door was closed, signaling that he didnt want any 'trash' disturbing him

"damn filthy creatures! I have it right here! he gave it to me for grocery shopping! and I WAS going to do it! but that was before he through his glass or orange juice at me" said Squalo tossing Fran the Credit Card,

"you go get grocerys"

"but I dont know how to use one of these things"

"take Bel"

"FUCK NO!"

"WHO THE HELL IS MAKING ALL THAT NOISE YOU TRASH'S!" said a booming voice behind that closed door, squalo turned around to see Bel and Fran run out of the door. Squalo smiled this was pay back for all the things Xanxus's threw at him, now Bel and Fran were off with a credit card, dear lord

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><p>the next chapter will be Fran and Bel at wal-mart! each chapter will be a different store. read and review please!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Bel and Fran are most likely at wal-mart right now**

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><p>Fran and Bel stopped and stared in wonder as the automatic door opened for people as they walked through it.<p>

"do you think only special people can go in bel-sempai?" asked Fran

"lets just try it out" said Bel walking up to the door and it opened automatically, Bel jumped back surprised.

"my turn" said Fran and he started running up to the door but it didn't open up in time and Fran ran straight into the glass bouncing back.

"cleary it only lets prince's walk through" said Bel gloating, Fran got up and tried again this time he walked up to it and it opened properly, Fran turned to Bel and stuck out his tongue before walking all the way inside with Bel following.

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><p>Bel climbed into a shopping cart and waited<p>

"bel-sempai? what are you doing?" asked Fran

"i'm waiting for a certain FROG to push me dammit!" said Bel watching a child climb into another cart and started being pushed. Fran started pushing Bel in the shopping cart as everyone turned and stared.

"bel-sempai do you have the list?" asked Fran, Bel pulled out the list and scanned it, he scoffed and crumbled it up and threw it over his shoulder.

"those peasants are expecting to much of the prince, Now that we have this we can get whatever we want, no prince follows a stupid list" said Bel holding up Xanxus's credit card.

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><p>As Fran pushed Bel through the clothing part of the store, Bel stared at the mannequine and frowned.<p>

"THE PRINCE ORDERS YOU TO STOP!" yelled Bel as people stopped what they were doing and stared.

"these plactic barbie's are unexceptable" said Bel ripping the clothes off the manniquins.

"froggy! bring me...that shirt...and that underwear...and that bra...OH AND THOSE PANTS!" said Bel, Fran ran around grabbing the items and returned to see that all the manniquin stood naked the shredded remains of their clothes lay at their plastic feet.

Bel grabbed the outfit that Fran grabbed, which looked WAY to much like his outfit, Bel grumbled as the bra strap kept slipping out of his fingers, the purple and black striped shirt went next then the black pants and black jacket. Fran sighed, he had a feeling where this was going.

Bel grabbed a knife and started chopping the hair of the manniquin so that you couldn't see the eyes, when he was through it ofcourse looked like a replica of Bel-sempai.

"bel-sempai that looks like you" said Fran

"ofcourse it does frog! its a masterpeice" said Bel jumping back into the cart and Fran started pushing him again once more, as Fran looked back and smiled at the manniquin's boobs that could be clearly seen from behind the shirt.

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><p>Bel grabbed a bag of M&amp;M's and tossed it into the cart<p>

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><p>Fran almost slipped as he walked past the wet floor sign and he angrily moved it to the carpet.<p>

Bel randomly grabbed a can of soup and through it to the aisle behind him and Fran ran with the shopping cart down the aisle and tried to see how many cans of soup Bel could grab till they reached the end of the aisle.

suddenly a Wal-mart employee started down their aisle and suddenly Fran and Bel stopped what they were doing and acted like nothing was happening.

"excuse me sir's do you need help with anything?" asked the man

"WHY WONT YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT!" screamed Bel and Fran took off once again to another aisle as the man stood their dumfounded.

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><p>Fran ran into the toy aisle that was littered with G.I joe's and X-men.<p>

**_~20 minutes later~ _**

Bel as stationed at one end of the aisle with X-men in battlefield postition and Fran was at the other end with G.I Joe's surrounding him.

"DAMIT FROG! THIS WAS MY IDEA NOW GO AWAY!" yelled Bel

"but bel-sempai you said I could have this territory!" said Fran

"the king has changed his mind! THIS IS WAR!" said Bel as he positioned and X-men character in front of his 'troops' and Fran grabbed a G.I Joe with a gun and started making firing noises.

Bel grabbed a sheild from the shelf and protected himself as Fran grabbed a a nerf gun and starting fireing as X-men started getting knocked down.

Bel grabbed a handful of X-men and threw them at Fran. Fran ran out of nerf's and started thowing his G.I. Joe's as he started getting pelted with tiny figures, Fran and Bel panted, it was a long war and in the end they ended up signing a treaty, in less then 10 minutes Fran was pushing Bel down another aisle.

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><p>Fran stopped and stared into a security camera and started messing with his hair that was poking out from his hat, Bel pushed him out of the way and started fixing his crown.<p>

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><p>"HEY YOU!" yelled Bel as another Wal-mart employee walked by<p>

"point me in the direction of the twinkies!" said Fran, he grabbed handful after handful of twinkies as he threw them into the cart as Bel layed back lazily and started eating.

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><p>Fran frowned and bent down and handed a small plastic square to bel.<p>

"didn't Squalo need some of these?" asked Fran as Bel read 'lubricant' on the tiny square. Bel shrugged and opened the wrapping to find a plastic condom, Fran grabbed it and blew into it causeing it to inflate

"see bel-sempai these are balloon's! does squalo like balloons?" asked Fran

"yes he does!" said Bel as he couldn't help but laugh at how stupid the frog was.

"I think he REALLY needs some of these to" said Bel as he grabbed a box of tampons and handfuls of condoms. Fran grabbed a tampon and opened it.

"this looks like dynamite! look it even has a tail bel-sempai" said Fran, Bel bursted out laughing as Fran stuck it up his nose, the tail tangling out , Bel knew that the Frog was stupid but he didn't know he was that stupid to stick a tampon up his nose.

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><p>Bel sighed as Fran would excessively use anything that said "try me" on it.<p>

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><p>"FRAN DAMMIT IF YOU DONT TRY THIS ON IM TAKING BACK THE TAMPONS!" yelled Bel<p>

"but Bel-sempai, this in the the woman's area, I dont think i'm allowed to try this on" said Fran

"just do it!" said Bel holding up the lingerie.

"cant we just get some for everyone else? it's not fair that i'm the only one that gets it" said Fran

"fine grab them and go! but when we get home you trying that on" said Bel

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><p>Bel and Fran stood in line as the cashier ran their items, as he got the the M&amp;M's Bel said<p>

" I want those on lay away" said Bel, the cashier nodded it took 45 minutes ringing up the twinkies, condoms, tampons, G.I. Joe's, X-men and one manniquin. As Bel handed the cashier Xanxus's credit card, Bel and Fran smiled, this was only the beggining.

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><p><strong>next chapter will be another store! yea! any idea where they should go? also was this good? bad? ok? read and review<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Bel and Fran are most likely at IKEA right now**

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><p>People walked by and stared at the prince and frog sleeping on one of the mattresses. Fran groggily woke up and yawned loudily.<p>

"bel-sempai the baby is crying" said Fran gesturing to a fake baby that was on display in one of the play cribs.

"I did it yesterday remember you dibshit" said Bel rolling over his back facing Fran

"Bel-sempaiiiiii" whinned Fran getting up and walking into a kitchen on display and pulled out twinkies from the cub board that Fran had stocked with from Wal-Mart.

Bel sat up and rubbed his eyes and grabbed the 'crying' baby from inside the display and chucked it down the stairs.

"damn frog making me do everything around here"

Bel sat down across from Fran and sat down sipping his 'coffee' and started reading a newspaper, Random people stopped and stared at the scene that was going on before them.

"the gas prices sure are getting pretty high" commeted Fran slipping an apron over his head, Bel nodded

"well I'm off to sell insurance, i'll pick up dinner" said Bel grabbing a display suitcase and walking out of the display.

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><p>"Bel-sempai where did you get this DVD" asked Fran as Bel sat down on one of the sofa's, in front of him was a big flat screen T.V. complete with blue-ray and surround sound.<p>

"I got it from Lussuria's room, he said I needed to watch it" said Bel lazily, Fran shrugged and put in the DVD and sat down on the sofa as well.

The picture on the t.v. showed woman half naked and on top of her was a man. Bel turned up the volume.

"i-im sorry Jake, I-I dont have the month's rent" cried out the women on the t.v.

"well you'll just have to re-pay me...with you body" said the man ripping off his shirt.

"I'm glad the baby isn't here to see this"said Fran watching the couple make out on the t.v.

"damn gay, making me watch shit like this" said Bel though he didn't make a move to turn off the T.V.

not 3 minutes into the movie, the couple was 'doing it'

"Bel-sempai, this doesn't have a good story line" complained Fran, people behind him screamed something to their kids and Fran turned around to see a huge crowd staring at the T.V. in horror.

"shutup Frog, the seceratary is about to come in and see her fiance" said Bel completly mesmerized.

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><p>"ON YOU MARK..."<p>

Bel and Fran were side by side, the obstacle course infront of them was made up for various couchs, chairs, tunnels made out of couch cushions, and ramp made up of coffee tables.

"GET SET..."

"there's no way you can beat me you blasted frog" said Bel

"bel-sempai, where did you throw the baby?" asked Fran

"GO!

Bel and Fran sprinted into the first obstacle, Fran jumped onto the mattress and launched himself into the coffee table, which broke in half.

Bel jumped on the mattress and jumped on Fran's back

Bel rode on Fran's back as Fran crawled through the tunnel, somewhere along the way Bel grabbed a whip and started whipping Fran.

"bel-sempai im not a wild animal, it hurts bel-sempaiii"

"shutup frog you must be tammed" Laughed Bel as Fran was forced on all fours and started making whinning sounds like a horse.

"YOUR NOT A DAMN HORSE FROG! YOUR AN ASS! SO STOP MAKING ASS SOUNDS!"

Fran started making donkey noises, as Fran galloped around with Bel laughing histerically on his back

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><p>"Bel-sempai why do I have to be in the front" asked Fran who was sitting on a mattress that sat on top of the stairs, people looked and hurried to get out of the way<p>

"dont question the prince" said Bel as he pushed the mattress down the stairs, and Him and Fran flew down the stairs at top speed.

at the bottom of the stairs were lamps set up to looked like bowling pins, as the neared the lamps Bel jumped off as Fran was left to have glass shattered in his face.

"Bel-sempai you said you weren't gonna do that again" whinned Fran

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><p>Fran bought the display baby<p>

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><p>Bel bought a love seat that resembled a crown<p>

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><p>Fran grabbed a sharpie and drew huge arrows all over IKEA, that all led up to the flat screen T.V that was playing Lussuria's movie.<p>

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><p>In the end Bel and Fran ended up buying all the furniture that had black arrows on them, Bel grumbled about IKEA not having crown cleaner.<p>

"Bel-sempai, what store do you want to go to next" asked Fran

Bel shrugged and turned off the lamp that was beside the display mattress.

"we'll figure that out in the morning frog" said Bel as the IKEA lighta went out as well.

"bel-sempai is it really ok to sleep here?" asked Fran

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Bel

"bel-sempai" whispered Fran

"WHAT!"

"the baby is crying"

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><p><strong>I hope this one was good, i'm not sure I made this one funny as the last, but please review! and any requests on where they should go next?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Bel and fran are most likely at McDonalds right now (they have to eat sooner or later)**

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><p>"what would you like" said the girl behind the counter<p>

"umm...I would like a McBitch" said Fran, Bel snickered he couldn't beleive he was actually doing it

"Oh...uh well-" started the girl but Fran kept going

"I would like a McBitch with extra large buns, and large tender breasts" said Fran

"And the Prince would like Prince McNuggets" said Bel

"i-i can't just-"

"YOUR A LIAR!" yelled Fran "GIVE ME MY McBitch!" yelled Fran, Bel couldn't help but laugh.

The girl behind the counter gave them their drinks, Bel walked to a table and Fran went into the bathroom.

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><p><strong>~In bathroom~<strong>

Fran sat there on the toilet, Fran's phone starting ringing, Fran put it on speaker.

"FRAN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AT!" yelled a very angry Squalo

"I jsut got done ordering a McBitch and breasts" He said into the phone that was still on speaker

"THE BOSS WANTS HIS CREDIT CARD DAMMIT!" yelled squalo, someone in the next stall over started coughing

"but squalo, you gave us the credit card and said we could get whatever we wanted" said Fran

"I FUCKING DID NOT I TOLD YOU TO GET FOOD YOU SACK OF BALLS!" Fran could almost picture Squalo all red

"well I got you some tampons and balloons while I was out" said Fran as someone starting knocking on his bathroom stall door

"can't you see im on the phone" said Fran to the stranger

"WHERE ARE YOU NOW!" said Squalo

"i'm not going to tell you, cause your going to come over here and eat my McBitch" said Fran

"THE BOSS IS GOING TO FUCK ME UP IF YOU DONT GET YOU GREEN ASS AND THAT FUCKING PRINCE OVER HERE NOW!" Squalo was agngry but Fran didn't give a shit

"sorry squalo but were not even close to being done with our shopping, I have to go the baby is crying" said Fran hanging up the phone and went ot get his McBitch

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><p>"Bel-sempai are you sure we can eat here" said Fran as he turned around to see a line of kids behind him and Bel waiting to go down the slide<p>

"shutup Frog and eat your breasts" said Bel smirking

He and Fran were eating on the play area

"excuse me mister's but can we slide down now" said a little boy

"CAN YOU NOT FUCKING SEE THAT IM EATING GOD DAMN!" yelled Bel throwing his fries at the kid before sliding down, Fran followed grabbing his McBitch

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><p>"Fran what the hell are you chewing on!" asked Bel<p>

"nuthin" said Fran blwing a bubble

"where did you get that gum from?" asked Bel, Fran pointed under the table, BEl looked under the table and saw different flavors and sizes of dried up gum that peole had stuck under the table

"your the grossiest fucking frog ever"

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><p>"are you ready Frog?" said Bel<p>

Fran nodded

"eat 5 of these in less then a minute" said Bel sitting at one of the tables and holding 5 packets of salt

"GO!"

Fran ripped open all 5 packets at once and poured them down his throat, he squished up his face and Bel laughed so hard that people turned and stared at the sputtering Frog and the mad Prince,

"b-Bel-S-empai y-your turn" cough Fran

"nope I cant beat you, you win" said Bel

Fran coughed again

"Bel-sempai you said you were gonna do it this time" complained Fran

"shutup an eat your McBitch" said Bel still laughing

"Bel-sempai don't eat all your Prince McNuggest, the baby still needs food" said Fran

"fuck the baby"

Fran gasped

"HEY! HE IS A GOOD BABY!" yelled Fran, Bel sighed, Fran and that baby are going to be the death of him

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><p><strong>this one was kinda short sorry! but just like always...anywhere you want them to go?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Bel and Fran are most likely at a hotel right now**

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><p>"bel-sempai im tireeeddd"<p>

"well dont fucking complain about it" said Bel also very tired

"can't we go buy a house or something"

"we dont have time to buy a house right now stupid, all these pheasants houses are giving me a headache, we need to find a mansion and fast" said Bel

"look at that mansion it says "La Quinta" on it, maybe thats french for "prince palace" of something bel-sempai" said Fran pointing to a 5 star hotel

"i may not know french but thats one huge as mansion" said Bel walking up to the hotel

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><p>"how much is this house" said Bel waving Xanxus's credit card in front of the reciptionist's nose<p>

"this isn't a house, its a suite" said the girl behind the counter

"well then how much is the 'suite' dumbass" said Fran his legs acheing from all the walking they did, and that was just in one day, he was secretly excited about the strip club tommorro night *hint hint

"how long do you plan on staying" said the girl ignoring the 'dumbass' part

"forever"

"forever?"

"did i stutter? I said FOREVER! I want to live in this so called suite"

"this is a hotel, not a house"

"fuck you" said Fran growing more and more tired by the minute, he got rather crabby when he got tired

"FINE! then we'll stay here for ONE year and if you prove worthy of being my maid, then i'll add another year" said Bel

"a year is the limit that your allowed to stay here"

"DAMN STRAIGHT" yelled Fran

"ok so, you want to rent out the one year suite plan?" asked the girl

"DAMN STRAIGHT" said Fran again

"oh and we're gonna need a baby crib also" said Bel

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><p><strong>~VARIA~<strong>

**"**WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CREDIT CARD TRASHES!" Xanxus ran around the house tearing up the sofa's and throwing glasses of wine at Squalo, everyone else was smart enough to stay up in their rooms

"VOIIIII! I told you what happened!" yelled Squalo

"HOW THE FUCK DID THOSE TWO IDIOTS GET MY CREDIT CARD!" yelled Xanxus more wine flew at Squalo

"VOIIII! stop throughing the wine DAMIT!"

"THEIR GONNA MAX OUT THE CARD!"

"they probable already did...voi"

"SAY WHAAAAT" the wine glasses turned into full bottles

"calm the VOI DOWN!"

"ITS YOUR FAULT TRASH!"

"WAS NOT"

"WAS TO"

"YOU DONT KNOW ME BITCH"

"DONT BACK THAT THING UP INTO ME YOU WHORE"

"HOLY JESUS! IM GOING DEAF BECAUSE OF YOU"

"FIND THEM!" roared Xanxus, the whole house shook

Squalo grabbed his purse on the way out and thus started the search of the prince and the frog

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><p><strong>~BACK AT HOTEL~<strong>

"this isn't to bad bel-sempai" said Fran walking around the suite, Bel was in the corner putting up the crib while the baby was in the corner (i've changed the plastic baby into a real baby) playing with tobabbco and lighter fluid that Fran had bought him

"bel-sempai we need to name the baby" said Fran attempting the breast feed the baby

Bel looked over at what Fran was doing and grimanced

"stupid frog you need BOOBS to do that" said Bel smirking

"then you do it bel-sempai"

"I DONT HAVE THEM EITHER IDIOT!"

"well then we need a women, to bad squalo or lussuria isn't here" said Fran

"yea, their pretty femine" said Bel

"I did see a poster outside that had a bunch of naked women on it, they had big boobs, maybe we can get one of them to feed the baby" said Fran

"what was it called?"

"kinky, freaky while still being sneaky" said Fran

"sounds pretty legit" said Bel, the baby crawled around the floor talking gibberish Bel scooped him up and put him in front of the t.v. which was playing Lussuria's movie.

"we still need a name bel-sempai"

Bel frowned and continued working on the crib, Fran sat there with tissues and stuffed them in his shirt, making himself boobs.

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><p><strong>im still stuck on the babys name! i need baby names! please review on what the name should be! <strong>

**I think i'll add two more chapter on stores and the 3rd one will be the strip club (i know that ya'll have been waiting for that one) and i'll add another chapter about squalo's search for the prince and frog**


	6. Chapter 6

**Bel and Fran are mostly likely at a disney land right now**

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><p><strong>"<strong>why the fuck are we here?"

"because I wanted to go"

"how the fuck did I end up in disneyland?"

"I dragged you"

"why do I feel violated"

"well bel-sempai, sacerfices must be made in order to get into disneyland for free"

"what 'sacerfices'"

"lets just say that you should go to a doctor after this"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME!"

"no reason to raise your voice, all I did was video tape you getting raped, and sent it to Lussuria"

"OH MY FUCKING SHIT ME!"

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><p><strong>~Varia~<strong>

"Ohhhh bosssy-kun! I think you should watch this"

"stop saying my name gay-like"

"a certain 'prince' is getting raped!"

"WHAT THE TRASH!"

"omigod!"

"i knowww! look at the scenery" said Lussuria

"im not talking about THE FUCKING SCENERY! Im talking about the DAMN PRINCE!"

"i've never seen that position before"

"TURN THAT FUCKING OFF!"

"fran told us to watch all of it"

"BURN IT!"

"wait wait wait"

"what?" asked Xanxus putting away his lighter

"whats that in the background?"

"it looks a baby that was found in the trash"

"it doesnt 'look like it' it IS!"

"so the Fran and the Prince finally had a child"

"I saw it comming"

"WHAT THE VOI ARE YOU WATCHING!" squalo choked on his wine

"well it seems like the prince is getting raped and Fran is dragging the unconciouse Prince to an airport and they have a kid"

"they have WHAT!"

"ARE YOU FINALLY DEAF FROM YELLING ALL THE DAMN TIME! HE SAID THEY HAVE A KID!"

"oh dear unicorn cupcakes"

"shutup! and didnt I tell you to go find them! I got my bill for my credit card AND IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"I found out where they have been but not were their at currently"

"their at disney land" said Lussuria useing the remote to go rewind to the part where Bel was begginging to get raped

"GET YOUR LONG WHITE HAIRED ASS TO DISNEY LAND AND FIND THEM!" Xanxus yelled!

"CALM YOUR TITS!" yelled Squalo slamming the door on the way out

"your mom has tits" mutter Xanxus under his breath

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><p><strong>~Back at disney land~ <strong>

**"**I HATE THIS RIDE!" yelled Bel as they rode through the 'its a small world' ride

"dont worry bel-sempai, I have something to make it better"

"a gun?" asked Bel hopefully

"nope even better" said Fran handing Bel a paint gun, Fran layed low in the vehical they were riding in and positioned himself so that he was aiming a small child singing 'its a small world',

"the target has been confirmed, how are things on your end over" Fran said

"I have a clear visual, waiting for the ok, over" Bel said positioning himself so that only the top of his crown was showing and the paint gun was aiming at the back of Frans head

"wait for it...wait for it...NOW!" Fran jumped out of the cart and tackled the child singing before fireing his paint gun repeatly, Bel shot at Frans back until it was a blue mess. Fran fired at the kid until the kid was forced to fake dead and Bel loaded his gun again and was still fireing at Fran until Fran was forced to beg for mercy at Bel's feet.

* * *

><p>"that mouse basterd is about to get a beating of his lifetime"<p>

"bel-sempai dont do it"

"hes gonna pay for what he did"

"what did he do?"

"nothing yet, but im going to beat the holy shit out of him" and with that Bel pushed kids out of the way and tackled the mickey, stabbing him repeatidly, the ground was stained with blood and kids screamed cried as the mouse layed dead on the floor with knived sticking out of him and Bel and Fran were running away from the scene"

* * *

><p>"RUN FROGGY RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Bel yelled<p>

"why are we running bel-sempai" Fran asked catching up with bel who was running the fastest he has ever ran before

"I PLANTED A BOMB IN THE WHINNIE THE POO RIDE!"

"wha-" but Fran was cut off by an exposion

* * *

><p>"i cant beilve you just mooned cinderella" said Bel still shoked<p>

"I think she liked it"

"I think she died"

"im about to flash princess jasmine"

"YOU DONT HAVE BOOBS! SO YOU CANT FLASH!"

"that didn't stop me last time remember?"

"...ok your right whatever, just make it quick I want to go and complain about the 14$ drinks"

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><p>"it makes me sad that Belran couldnt come with us" said Fran<p>

"I know, I know but at midnight we can go to that club and get some milk" said Bel reasuring Fran

"so we have time to go to one more store?"

"yup!"

"alright! can we dress up as girls!"

"hell no!"

"PLEASE BEL-SEMPAI!"

"you can, and i'll video tape it"

"great! make sure you get a good shot of Belran to!"

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><p><strong>i'd like to thank for kuroya-hime for the babys name (belran) and for reviewing! thanks for the great name!<strong>

**one more chapter till the strip club!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bel and Fran are probably about to play Grand Theft Auto in real life.**

* * *

><p>"you fucking frog, do you know how embaressed I am just standing next to you" said Bel as he watched Fran prance around in a bat man costume Belran was dressed up as Robin who was being held by Bel.<p>

"bel-sempaiii! dont say that! this is the costume i'm wearing to the breast milk convention" Fran said suddenly he stopped and stared at a black sports car that was parked on the curb, Fran hesitantly rubbed his hand on the metal and something stired inside him.

"this car is most fit for a prince" said Bel Fran frowned and turned away tears at the corner of his eyes.

"it makes me so sad...that I cant have it" choked Fran covering his face.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT!" said Bel looking at his reflection in the car mirror.

"because...it doesn't have a car seat" said Fran choking back a sob.

"damn frog! thats what BACKSEATS are for!" said Bel

"your so right Bel-sempai!" cried out Fran

"hey look prince of dig shit they left the keys in to"

"hey look Tad-stripper-pole they have hydraulics"

"touche Bel, touche" Fran sat in the driver seat since Bel refused to use his princely feet, Bel checked the review mirror and saw Belran straped into the backseat with a seatbelt and he was leaning over not even aware that he had been stolen of IKEA, went to disney land, and is going to go get some breastmilk from some cheap strippers. Spoiled child.

"aright...how do I work this bat mobile?" asked Fran

"stupid! trying pressing the gas pedal!" said Bel as he leaned over and turned the key the engine roared to life and gave a beautiful purr. Fran stamped on the gas and crash into the car in front of him, he put it to reverse and back up into the car behind him. Bel sighed as Fran kept crashing into the car in front and behind them before Fran finally figured out that if you turned the wheel the car would also turn.

As Fran pulled away from the curb and ran over a dog Bel was rummaging through the glove compartment and he pulled out a gun and along with ammunition.

"this might come in handy" said Bel pointing the gun at Fran who didn't even notice because he was so concentrated on running over every stop sign and every speed bumb that he came across.

"This is just like grand left auto!" yelled Fran as he rolled down the window, suddenly Fran did a U-turn and the car stopped onto the sidewalk in front of a man wearing a suit.

"watch the baby" said Fran before bolting out of the car and grabbed a car jack from out of nowhere and started beating the living shit out of the man before he grabbed the mans wallet and not a 3 minuted passed until they were running over nieghborhood animals again.

"I guess you take this grand theft auto seriously" said Bel loading the gun.

"Do you hear that?" asked Bel turned down the radio that was playing Enya (that Fran was singing along to) and they both heard a siren not far off in the distance.

"do you think there comeing for us?" asked Fran

"who the fuck cares! I just want to get to the stripped club and fast!" said Bel pointing to the sun that was sinking in the distance. Suddenly to police cars pulled out in front of them not 1 blocks away and were blocking their path, a man in a police uniform opened the car door and kneeled behind it, pointing his gun at the bat mobile. Bel rolled down his window and shot getting the police officer in the center of his forehead. Fran turned down a road and started to pick up speed as more sirens could be heard.

"fuck!" said Bel

"HEY! NO CUSSING IN FRONT OF THE CHILD!" Yelled Fran

"SHIT ME WITH FUCKING LUSSURIA PORN!" yelled Bel as he sighed and reclined his seat crossing his arms, they stayed like that until Fran broke the silence.

"I hate it when we fight Bel-sempai" whispered Fran

"shutup and drive" said Bel

"I love you" said Fran in a low voice

"did you say something?" asked Bel turned towards Fran

"NO WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT!" yelled Fran, suddenly two more police cars pulled behind them and a helicopter was suddenly above them. Fran turned sharply and started to crash head first into a local store that was connected to the mall.

"WHAT THE PRINCE!" Yelled Bel

"relax, how many times have I done this?" asked Fran

"ok fine" said Bel relaxing, in the back seat the Belran cooed and hic-uped.

"I totally forgot we had a child" said Bel

"well I had to endure 9 months of painful stomache aches and a c-section!" said Fran

"YOUR A FUCKING MAN! NOT TO MENTION THAT YOUR A FROG!" said Bel shooting the gun behind them. Fran turned and they crashed through a wall and they were outside once again but the streets were deserted and whore looking women were standing at every corner.

"Do you think this is what a hobo looks like?" asked Bel but Fran didn't answer instead he drove onto the sidewalk and parked in front of a prostitute.

"hey baby looking for a good time?" the women asked leaning into the car, her boobs hung in front of Fran who inspected them to make sure they were 'breastmilk' worthy.

"actually yes we do have a baby" said Fran pointing to the backseat where Belran sat

"kinky" said the women who leaned further inside Fran held his breath as the stench of cheap sex and birth control pills flooded into the bat mobile.

"what do you say handsome?" asked the women cupping Fran's face with her manicured nails.

"get in" said Bel, the women obliged and sat in the back seat with the child in her lap.

"congradulation your the babys new mom" said Bel

"WHAT THE HELL!" yelled the women.

"dont worry we have a huge mansion and lots of credit cards" said Fran, the women thought about it for a moment and finally shrugged.

"alright whatever" said the women

"oh by the way do you mind breast feeding the baby" said Fran

"what the hell? I dont have breast milk" said the women

"but your boobs are huge!" said Fran

"that doesn't mean anything!" the women said

"well damn looks like we still have to go to the strip club" said Bel

"I can show you the way" said the women, Bel and Fran looked at each other and nodded.

"i'll show you on one condition" said the women

"whatever you want you whore" said Bel

"can I live in your mansion and buy whatever I want with your credit cards?" she asked

"DUH! thats why were letting you hold the child!" said Fran

"ok then, call me Aiko" she said smiling as she started to give Fran the directions to the strip club.

* * *

><p><strong>I think I want this prostitute to stay in the story! hahah I think it'll be awesome to see the expression on the Varia's face then they come home with a baby and a stripper.<strong>

**(I might make this story longer even after the strip club)**

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**will Fran and Bel find the breastmilk that they have searched everywhere for?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Good news! I've decided not to end the story at the strip club! more will come after! Thank you for all your reviews! and enjoy the strip club! and more to come! :)**

* * *

><p>In the end, the prostitute woman that Bel and Fran picked up was bitching to much. So Bel 'accidently' opened the car door and un-buckled her seat belt.<p>

Soon a big neon sign that read "Welcome to the strip" passed overhead as Fran zoomed under it.

"I hope your hungry Belran" Muttered Fran. Bel pointed to a brightly lit strip club called "Le Petite Princes"

"I dont want to go there Bel-sempiii!"

"THATS MY FAVORITE FUCKING PLACE!" Bel in all his excitment jumped out of the car as it was still driving, rolled across the ground and started to run towards the strip club. Fran slammed on the brakes and sighed as he grabbed Belran and ran after Bel.

* * *

><p>"HALT! No children uner the age of 21 allowed" said a bulky man in a suit. an earpeice dangling from his collar.<p>

"No one tells the prince what to do!" Bel yelled in the mans face. And with a flick of his wrist the man was lying face down, knives covering his body.

"Children my ass" Bel muttered before stepping over the body. Anxious to get into the 'prince' strip club.

* * *

><p>"What am I supposed to do with this?" asked Fran holding up a ticket that had fallen from a strippers bra.<p>

"It says...one free pass to any stripper you choose" Bel read.

"what does that mean?" asked Fran as Belran tried to grab the ticket from his grasp.

"Hey sweet cheeks, looks like you got a 'special' pass" the stripper winked, a tiny tiara was setting upon her head.

"The prince likes" Bel winked back.

"Follow me" The stripper said as she lured Bel, Fran and Belran into a back room.

* * *

><p>The stripper sat across from them in a love seat in a tiny room, the 'Unce unce unce' music playing in the background.<p>

"you can do anything you want with me for 10 whole minutes" the stripper said as she began to slowly walk towards them. Before she could reach them throug, Fran thursted Belran in her face.

She gave a questioning look, her waxed eyebrow arched.

"feed him bitch" Fran said surprising Bel.

"What the hell!" The stripper replied.

"Give Belran some of your milk...bitch!" Bel said backing Fran up.

"you guys are crazy!" The girl yelled.

Suddenly Bel tackled the girl, and pinned her arms and legs on the floor.

"It's...not...working!" Grunted Fran as he tried to get Belran to 'feed' from her.

"GET OFF ME!" The stripper yelled.

"damnit...this isn't the right whore" sighed Fran as he sat back clearly dispointed.

"what do you mean?" asked Bel unaware that he had strangled the girl.

"Belran seems to be very picky" muttered Fran.

"Well is he doesn't like milk from strippers? then from who?" Asked Bel

"...cows...THAT IT! He wants COW milk!" Fran yelled, jumping up at the conclusion.

"where do we find cows?" asked Bel.

"The dairy farm duh!" Fran yelled.

"how do we get there" Bel asked following Fran out the strip club.

"An airplane" is our only way. Bel smiled at the idea.

* * *

><p><strong>The search for Belran's milk continues...on an airplane! <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**airport security will be hell for them :)**

* * *

><p>"shit shit shit" mutteres Bel over and over again as Bel pushed Belran in the baby carige.<p>

"what is it now Bel-sempi?" Fran asked as they aproached the convayer belt where they will put their belongings.

"I have crack in my back pocket" Whispered Bel

"what do you want me to do about it?" shot back Fran.

"I read something once, about how you can sneak drugs on an airplane" Bel said shooting glances from side to side.

"what did it say?" asked Fran.

"Fran...I need you too...Stick my crack...up your anus" Bel whispered. Fran stood there motionless.

"...never"

"you have to!...do it for Belran" Bel replied, Fran closed his eyes momentarily before silently holding out his hand. Bel slipped him the crack and Fran ran off to the bathroom.

..

..

...

Fran came back 5 minutes later. Walking like he had a pole shoved up his ass.

* * *

><p>"Where did that damn frog go" muttered Bel glanceing at his watch. THen he heard something on the overhead that answered his question.<p>

"This is your captain Fran speaking. Looks like we have fairly good weather and some mild turbulance. Sit back and relax and thank you for chooseing- BELRAN DONT TOUCH THAT BUTTON!" Fran was cut off in the microphone, the airplane took a jolting left turn and Bel covered his face with his hands.

* * *

><p>After about A few hours Bel got bored and decided to join Fran in the captains quarters where Fran had knocked out the original captains.<p>

"What does this button do?" Bel asked.

"Lets find out" Fran said pressing the button. At first nothing happened but then engine began to sputter and then it went out all together.

"what...have...we...done" muttered Bel

* * *

><p>Fran pressed the assistant button and soon there was a knock on the door.<p>

"CAPTAIN! PLEASE THE PLANE IS GOING DOWN!" The girl cried. Her airplane uniform was soaked in tears.

"I would like some coke and some of those peanut things" Fran said calmly.

"And pretezls to" Bel added.

"CAPTAIN PLEASE! TURN ON THE EMERGENCY SWITCH! WERE GOING DOWN!"

"DONT JUST STAND THERE! GIVE ME MY DAMN PEANUTS!" Fran yelled right back.

* * *

><p>"hey look, I can see the dairy farm" Fran said as their plane crash landed onto a nearby farm.<p>

"wow...thats convienant" Bel replied.

Fran, Bel and Belran stepped through the weckage of the plane, sidstepping the metal and stewn bodies.

"look Bel...not a single airbag...stupid airplane people" Fran said, Bel just nodded along.

"hey but look, free peanuts" Bel said picking up the leftover airplane food.

"were pretty much set for life" Fran replied setting Belran down to play with scraped of sharp and hazardous metal.

* * *

><p>"hey look a cow!" Fran yelled as he ran to a nearby cow who was grazing in the grass.<p>

"How do u make it work?" Bel asked pokeing it with a stick.

"I think you do something with these dangly things..." Fran said inspecting the utters.

"stupid frog! you have to cut it open! the milk is INSIDE the cow!" Bel said as he flicked his wrist again and soon the cow was split in two.

"I dont see any milk Bel-sempei" Fran said

"This must be a retail cow then" Bel muttered.

"Which one has the milk then!" Fran yelled gesturing to all the other cows around them. Bel sighed and gave Fran a knife.

"Well get cutin' then" Bel said running off towards a nearby cow.

* * *

><p><strong>That was part 1! stay tuned for part 2! and please review! <strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**sorry I havent updated in so long my lovely readers! I promise that i'll start updating more since I got my phone takin' up because of my stupid report card DX luckily my computer was safe from 'parent wrath' so enjoy and please review like always for continuation!**

* * *

><p>"No milk" Bel said both him and Fran stood there in a middle of the pasture with dead cows all around them.<p>

"What do we do now?" Fran asked

"We walk over to that hotel" Bel said moitioning to the hotel that was conviently in the middle of no where.

"Maybe there a car we can steal or something" Bel continued as he picked up Belran and kissed him lightly on the head before trudging onward. Fran followed.

* * *

><p>"Now this...is a nice car" Bel said using his knives to pry open the police cruiser.<p>

"Look at all these cool stuff!" Fran said motioning to the built in computer and Speed gadet thing. (*that thing that police use to moniter how fast people are going, I dont know what their called*)

As Fran set Belran in the backseat, Bel stuck a small knife into the ignition and soon the car started.

"Hey look Bel" Fran said as he held up an extra police suit. A grin stretched across Bel's face.

* * *

><p>Bel pushed a botton the dashboard and soon a shreeching siren and blue and red light were all you could see as Bel floored the cruiser and soon they were catching up to a car that they finally decided on to chase.<p>

The car slowly pulled over to the side and so did the police cruiser.

"Now remember, you have to ACT like a real police officer" Bel said as Fran got out of the car, a police officer hat sat on his frog hat.

Fran approached the car window which was rolled down, Fran immediatly pulled out a gun on the man.

"where's the little girl!" Fran screamed at the man suddenly.

"What little girl!" The man yelled back startled. Fran aimed his gun.

"SHOW ME THE LITTLE GIRL!" Fran said again.

The man now in tears and bawling said "I SWEAR I DONT KNOW!"

Fran smiled "theres the little girl"

* * *

><p>Bel once again pulled over to the side behind another victim once again.<p>

Fran for about the 6th time that day walked up the car and pulled out his gun.

"WHERES THE LITTLE GIRL!"

"IN THE TRUNK!" The Man said startled, Fran slowly pulled his gun away...and walked away.

* * *

><p>Suddenly in the rear view mirror there were flashing Blue and Red lights.<p>

"SWEET NIPPLES OF ZEUS!" Bel exclaimed as Bel floored the cruiser, the sirens got louder as Fran realized that more cops had joined in on the chase.

* * *

><p><strong>~Back at the Varia Mansion~<strong>

Xanxus sat there on the couch flipping through channels but he quickly flipped back after doing a double take. There on the flat screen T.V was a close up of a police cruiser that was on a high speed chase. And on that close up on the car you could distincly see a frog hat poking through the window and knives being thrown behind the car at the other police cruisers.

"THOSE FUCKING WHORES!" Xanxus sceeched at the television, the wine glass he was holding was now in shards at his feet.

* * *

><p><strong>~Back at the Chase~<strong>

Suddenly a spot light illuminated the car, a helicopter flew above them.

"We know you have the child. Stop the car now before further presuit" Someone in one of the police cruiser said.

"SUCK MY BALLS!" Bel said grabbing the walki-talki looking thing.

"Excuse me!" The police officer said back as it swerved to miss the knives Bel was throwing at them.

Bel turned up the volume on the dashboard before clearing his voice. "I SAID SUCK MY FRIEND'S GREEN FROG BALLS!" Fran stared at the Bel before slowly looking out the window.

"It's ok Belran! WERE NOT GONNA LET THEM TAKE YOU AWAY!" Fran said as he suddenly grabbed the steering wheel and made a sharp left turn, suddenly there was a loud screech followed by a jolting stop that made the air bags smack into Bel's face. Fran had somehow made his way into the back seat and was protectivly covering Belran.

"Come out with your hands up" Said a real police man. Bel cracked open a eye and saw that 10 police cars had them surrounded, there car had spun into a lamp post, 2 helicopters were above them.

"Damn, the prince can't get butt raped in jail...again" Bel said as he was roughly pulled from the car and with a click, handcuffs were around his wrists.

* * *

><p><strong>please review for the next chapter! It'll be about how Bel and Fran survive jail. I cant wait to write it! so please review!<strong>

**Read~Review~Rejoice. **


	11. Chapter 11

Fran and Bel were escorted to a cell that had a bunk bed in the corner and a toilet without any sort of privacy what-so-ever. Fran shuffled his feet and sighed as he sat on the bed causing dust to uplift then settle back on the bed.

Bel sat on the ground playing tick tac toe with himself. The guards had found over 100 knives concealed in his clothes which they confiscated. The bars clicked in palce as a guard locked them in and left.

"I...hate...ORANGE!" Bel screamed as he tried to rip the jumpsuit off his skin.

"Hey you! SHUTUP!" A guard at the end of the hall yelled at Bel.

"YOUR MOM WENT TO COLLEGE!" Bel shot back.

"Sempai I dont think that was the right comback" Fran murmered. Bel cried silently to himself as he rolled around the tiny cell.

"SHOWER TIME!" Yelled a guard and the cells were unlocked and Bel and Fran found themselves in a line full of overgrown pedophiles.

"psst...Bel sempai..the guy behind me has a stick and keeps pokeing me" Fran whispered urgently to Bel.

"Thats not a stick you dumbass" Bel whispered back as they were handed a towel and **soap. **Fran gulped as the guy behind him winked and licked his lips.

* * *

><p>"YOU DROPPED THE SOAP!" Bel exclaimed as he saw the soap laying there on the floor.<p>

Everyone in the shower room stopped and turned. All that could be heard was the running of water.

Fran sweat dropped as the soap layed there harmlessly. But we all know what had to be done.

Slowly Fran made his way towards the soap. The man that was behind Fran earlier with the 'stick' went into postition behind Fran.

Bel closed his eyes and did a small prayer for his friend.

Fran bent over slowly and grabbed the soap. The guy smiled and suddenly Fran was living his nightmare.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Fran screamed as the guy behind him made moaning noises. The soap slipped from Fran's fingers once more.

Bel stood off the side cracking up at the scene.

* * *

><p>"WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS?" Screamed Bel at the lunch lady.<p>

"Soup" The lady said calmly.

"This is a mixture of FUCK and CANCER!" Fran said behind Bel.

"THE PRINCE IS NOT EATING FUCK AND CANCER!" Bel said throwing down his soup.

"Well then your just gonna have to starve" The lady said as she gestured for guards to take Bel away.

At the sight of the guards with tazers Bel suddenly grabbed Fran's soup and hurled it at the two guards.

As the guards were distracted Bel jumped over the food counter along with Fran and disguised themselves as lunch men.

Bel secretly snuck a steak knife in his jumpsuit as Fran began serving the meals. As each cell mate walked through the line Fran would murmur:

"Fuck you...fuck you...fuck you...your cool...fuck you...your cool...I fucked your mom" And on and on.

* * *

><p>At recess Bel and Fran were released from their cell to go outside.<p>

Bel suddenly saw a hot girl stareing at him. She motioned for him to go over there.

Upon arriving at the table set outside Bel and Fran sat down. The girl slipped her hand under the table and set it on Bel's knee.

"My name's Hannah" The girl said with a wink.

"I'm Bel the Prince and this is my retarded frog Fran" Bel said.

"Your cute" Said the girl as she licked her lips. Bel suddenly looked behind the girl and saw that another jail mate was holding up a sign that said '**BEWARE OF PENIS'**

"Charles! Leave the new prisoners alone!" One of the guards said.

"CHARLES?" Bel exclaimed.

"DAMN IT JOHNS! STOP FUCKING WITH ME!" The so called girl's voice just got 2 octaves lower as he/she/it spun around and glared at the guy with the sign.

The girl/boy/it turned back around only to find Bel and Fran running away from the sign screaming.

"BEWARE OF PENIS!"

* * *

><p>Fran woke up in the middle of the night from the floor and found Bel coughing rather dramatically.<p>

"Bel-sempai? are you ok?" Fran asked, Bel coughed again.

"I..dont think..I can make it...the orange...the soap...the cutt sex..its all too much" Bel said trailing off.

"NO BEL! Dont talk like that! THINK ABOUT BEL-RAN!" Fran said as he shook Bel's shoulder.

"I..can..see the light" Bel said closing his eyes.

"YES! GO INTO THE LIGHT! LIGHT IS GOOD!" Fran yelled. Bel rolled his eyes under his lids, even when Bel's was 'dying' the damn Frog still could still fuck things up.

* * *

><p><strong>wow I for some reason had a really hard time writing this chapter, i got really lazy. so sorry about that. Next chapter will be Bel and Fran in front of a judge. <strong>

**PLEASE REVIEW! for a faster update. **


	12. Chapter 12

Fran and Bel sat in the waiting room before the judge with their hands handcuffed behind their back.

"Bel...how do you know if you love someone?" Fran asked after acouple minutes of awkard silence.

"Ushish, why did you get someone pregnant?" Bel laughed.

"No?"

"Ushish, then are you pregnant?" Bel asked again.

"I hope not..." muttered Fran remembering the shower scene. "I mean...what do you tell the person you love?" Fran said.

"That you want to get that person pregnant" Bel said. Fran nodded silently before turning to an ederly lady beside him and whispered something in her ear.

The senior citizen screamed and called for security.

"Bel and Fran the judge will see you now" said a lady as she opened two wide double doors. Bel and Fran nodded at each other as they got up.

* * *

><p>"Do you know why you are here?" Judge Diaz says from behind a desk. Bel and Fran sat in two seats in front of her, two guards both at each exits, no way out.<p>

"Because I like to watch kangaroo's rub their nipples while taking a shit in my spare time" Bel blurted out.

"I love you so much" Fran whispered.

"This is un-called for!" the judge yells.

"Gawd, I have such a boner right now" Fran says fidgeting in his seat.

"I barley know you" the judge says.

"I want to have tadpoles with you, lets make love right here right now!" Fran stood up suddenly and it took three guards to restrain him back in his seat.

"Damn it all! Just forget about this! Both of you till bel going to therapist's for three months!" The judge banged on her desk and with that they were whisked away.

"Dont forget about me" Fran called to Bel.

"Who the FUCK ARE YOU!" Bel laughed at the face that Fran made.

* * *

><p><strong>~THERAPIST TIME!~ for Bel<strong>

**"**So, Bel. I don't know how much you know about therapy, but it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself."

Bel I work for the mafia in a mansion as a even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who live there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.

"Is this Good Will Hunting?"

"No." Bel says

"It sounds alot like the plot of good will hunting."

"Yeah. Anyway. My best friend is Ben Affleck..." Bel continues.

* * *

><p>~THERAPIST TIME!~ for Fran<p>

"I love you." Fran says the moment he sits down on the couch

"Obviously you don't know me." the female therapist says.

"I love you so much."

"Thank you. And I will take that as a feeling that you have of comfortibility with me."

"It's more that comfortability. I fuckin' love you".

"Okay I think that..." She said awkardly

"I'm just thinking about our new life together. It feels like I'm walking on a cloud. My penis is tingling right now." Fran's voice starts to get low.

"That is so off-putting." She scribbles something on her pad.

"You're not feeling this?"

"In no way, shape, or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever"

* * *

><p><strong>~Back in the jail cell~<strong>

"I can't belive we ahve to do fucking therapy for three months before we get out!" Bel said as a guard led him and Fran back to the familiar cell.

"I hate this fucking prison!" Bel screamed.

"ON THE PLANET BULLSHIT!" Fran screamed back.

"ON THE GALAXY OF THIS SUCKS CAMEL DICKS!" Bel sighed before sitting down.

"We need to get out of here Bel-sempai...tonight" Fran whispered urgently.

"You have a plan?" Bel said sitting up. Fran nodded and started whispered in Bel's ear. He began to smile.

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW! For the great escape! <strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**The Great Escape**

* * *

><p>"Are you ready for this Bel?" Fran said as both boys stood in front of a cell wall. It was completly dark, both had woken up in the middle of the night to ensure that they would not be seen. Both had smuggled dark clothing that they got from some in-mates in exchange for Fran's virginity...again<p>

"As ready as I'll ever be Frog" Bel cracked his neck, they would have to work fast.

"HEY, KOOL-AID!" Bel screamed

"HEY, KOOL-AID!" Fran and Bel chanted.

Suddenly there was a sudden shock that came from beneath their feet.

"He's here" Whispered Fran

"**OH YEAH!**" Kool-aid man suddenly bursted through the cell wall with a pitcher of bright red kool-aid, almost immediatly the siren's began to wail and Bel threw a knife at the unsuspecting pitcher of glass and with a loud crack the kool-aid man dissinagrated in millions of broken shards.

"C'mon we dont have much time!" Fran yelled as they both jumped through the gaping hole and began to run.

* * *

><p>"I'm so glad we got away from that damn jail" Bel said as they both walked around the town in their regular clothes.<p>

"We just need to get one more thing" Fran said

"Who?" Bel asked confused.

"Belran..." Fran said as he dramaticlly looked up into the sky.

"I'm tired of that kid" Bel said putting his hands behind him head.

Fran gasped "Bel-sempie please do this for me! dont you like me?" Bel asked

"No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake assain. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend." Bel said

"OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring. " Fran had stopped walking.

"How you gonna do that?" Bel sneered

"We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned."

**"**Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope." Fran started walking again, leaving a dumbstruck Bel in the middle of the sidewlak

* * *

><p>"YOUR TELLING ME THAT THOSE TWO FAGGOTS ESCAPED OUT OF JAIL! YOUR SUCH A SMOKE POLE NUBSHIT! I CAN'T EVEN TRUST YOU WITH A SIMPLE TASK OF BAILING THEM OUT OF JAIL! YOU SHITBISCUIT!" Xanxus stombed and ranged as Squalo told him the news that Bel and Fran had broken out of jail the day before.<p>

"Find...them" Xanxus through a whole case of wine at Squalo as he scrambled out the bedroom.

"Go to hell in a handbasket" Squalo growled as he walked out of the front door once again.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter is Bel and Fran getting Belran from the orphanage!<strong>

**Wow I never thought this story would go this far, 10 chapters at least. But here I am with chapter like 13, and it's gotten a lot off topic but i hope you enjoy it nether the less, dont worry i'll carry on the story as long as i can :)**

**I am also shooting for 70+ reviews for this chapter, so can ya' make it happen? please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Long time no see eh? Don't worry i'm not canadian...yet...what? **

* * *

><p>"Ok first off...we need a car if we want to save Belran" Bel put a hand under his chin and thought.<p>

"I have an idea" Fran said and began to whisper in Bel's ear.

* * *

><p>Bel and Fran stood there on the side of the road with their thumbs in the air wearing completly all white clothes. Suddenly a black SUV pulled over and opened the door.<p>

"Need a lift?" A man asked. Bel and Fran climbed into the vehical without a word.

Soon they were approaching a turn and Bel nudged Fran.

"Be careful on this turn. This is where my car crashed and we died" Fran said emotionlessly and stareing striaght ahead.

That guy must have set a world record for the fastest man to ever jump out of a moving car.

"Ushisihsih, sweet" Bel said as he climbed into the front seat. Suddenly his butt vibrated and he took out his phone, it was from Fran.

_**Fran: 3  
>Bel: Why did you send my balls?<br>Fran:...Nevermind**_

* * *

><p>Bel rolled up to the orphange where they had taken Belran.<p>

They looked at each other and nodded before getting out of the van.

They walked into the building and a receptionest sitting behind a desk smilied.

"How may I help you today?"

"I..*cough* I mean WE, would like a child" The girl looked from Bel to Fran. Bel was currently glaring at Fran through his bangs.

"So you two are-" She started

"Gay that's right. Got a problem bitch? I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, but 99 problems are still a lot of problems" Fran leaned forward and stared at her right in the eye.

"R-Right this way" She said and gestured to a door to her left.

As they walked through the door Bel muttered "oh...shit bricks"

Kids were literally EVERYWHERE. Climbing on furniture and throwing their toys, everywhere you looked their was a kid.

"Is that...Is that an orgy going on back there?!" Fran cried out

"We need to split up, I need to give you a weapon" Bel said.

"Do I get a gun?"

"Nope...here's a rape whistle, if your getting raped blow on it and i'll run over to video tape it Usisih" Bel chuckled. Fran nodded.

* * *

><p>A few whistle blows and bloody children later they met up empty handed.<p>

"Do you think someone adopted them Bel-sempai?" Fran asked. Bel sighed and put his hands on his hips.

"One way to find out"

**~One dead receptionist later~**

"Looks like he was adopted by...AH FIDDLE STICKS!" Fran yelled and slammed the file down.

They both stared down at a cute little couple, the file stated they had adopted him a few days ago and lived all the way on the other side of town.

"This is so CLICHE`!" Bel growled

"We need to get him back Bel-sempai! He's our own flesh and blood!" Fran whined

"WE STOLE HIM FROM IKEA!" Bel yelled.

Suddenly Bel's phone went off.

_**Fran: I don't like it when we fight**_

"DAMNIT FROG STOP TEXTING ME! YOUR NOT EVEN IN MY FAMILY 5!"

* * *

><p><strong>Will Bel and Fran go save the baby? Or carry on their mission to the stores? The rest of the story is up to you dear readers, review on what you want to read! ALso TERRIBLY SORRY FOR HOW SHORT IT IS!<strong>


End file.
